It’s official – the British are “fugly”
Posted by: flamingo on: November 12, 2009
- In: beauty| british people| brits| fugly| humour| love| male beauty| online dating
- 1 Comment
Just when you thought no dating site could beat “Scientific match.com” for sheer elitism ( see my last blog article) I stumbled on beautifulpeople.com – where dating for mingers is out if you want to join. The worldwide site requires that a photo of oneself be submitted and voted on by the existing super-attractive members to decide if membership is to be allowed or not.
Down with uglies at beautifulpeople.com
In an unsurprisingly pretentious statement the site says of itself “Beauty is subjective and BeautifulPeople Network believes that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. The rating module was born from this very principle. By giving the power back to the members to define their ideal of beauty in a democratic way. Essentially, by applying to BeautifulPeople Network applicants are being beholden by thousands.”
How anyone could say the Brits are ugly is beyond me
If you happen to be British however, don’t hold your breath during the voting – we have the world’s lowest success rate at gaining entry (fewer than 3 / 20 of us make it, compared with 2 /3 Norwegians) making us officially the ugliest nation on earth. Well I guess it’s good to be world leaders at something.
It’s in the genes
Posted by: flamingo on: November 12, 2009
Well as if we don’t already have enough dating services around, we now have the possibility of being matched not only on star sign, postcode and a few naff photos we have taken of ourselves, but by our genes.
Yes, for the bargain price of $1000 (about £600) you can submit a DNA sample and be matched with people whose genes complement yours – with the general idea that we tend to seek out partners whose genetic make up works well alongside our own and that this is part of the “chemistry” we feel when with a good partner.
Scientific match.com makes some pretty immodest claims, suggesting amongst other things that women will have more orgasms and be less likely to be unfaithful, and also that resultant children will be “more robust”. They are also very hot on scents, stating that you will like the scent of a scientifically matched partner better than others.
The difficulty I have with this is that it doesn’t explain how attraction can “grow” – someone you don’t instantly fancy (or even like the smell of!) can definitely become someone you can’t keep your hands off, given time and enough dates!
Someone who may not seem instantly attractive can grow on us...
And equally, someone we instantly lust after can end up as our worst nightmare……….
They lasted only four years despite seeming to be a perfect match for intellect, style and orangeness.
I think we should probably stick with that old fashioned method of just falling in love with someone – it’s such a great feeling and it doesn’t cost $1000.
Knight on his shining bicycle
Posted by: flamingo on: November 6, 2009
As I have long suspected, Boris Johnson has the makings of a superhero. This week the BBC reported how he gallantly stopped to help a woman being attacked by a group of what he called “oiks” and then, get this, returned on his bike and walked her home!
Boris Johnson was the passing cyclist who rescued a damsel most definitely in distress
She was so impressed that despite disagreeing with his politics and declaring her support for Ken in the previous election, she said that “If you find yourself down a dark alleyway and in trouble I think Boris would be of more use than Ken.”
I’d have thought that being down a dark alleyway near the mayor would be scary enough in itself but ten out of ten for his chivalry and guts. Three cheers for Boris!
Mozart’s music is like an X ray of your soul. It shows what is there and what isn’t. (Isaac Stern)
Posted by: flamingo on: November 6, 2009
Call me a spoilport but if there’s one thing I can’t be doing with it’s all those ridiculous “national day for….” – you know, like National Potato Chip day, National penguin awareness day, National Give a Gorilla Hug day and National Peanut Butter lovers day.
"National give a gorilla hug day" is fine for some individuals
However, there is a notable exception to this rule, and that is coming this Sunday 8th November, when we celebrate “World Radiography Day” – yes I know, two days is a long time to wait and the excitement is building rapidly, especially amongst Radiographers, who account for oh at least 0.000000000000000000000000000000001 % of the world’s population, and are highly skilled and underpaid individuals who additionally have to suffer the annoyance of having to constantly explain what they do to the unknowing public.
Most of my friends wouldn’t know what I do day to day and my partner even has trouble pronouncing the word radiography, but that probably says more about him than about anything else.
So on Sunday spare a thought for radiographers the world over and next time you meet one don’t ask them what they actually do, but instead stun them by asking if they work in kV or mV. You’ll be flavour of the month. Or they will think you are a total nerd but hey.
What’s in a name?
Posted by: flamingo on: November 4, 2009
Browsing the daily something-or-other today I see amidst the gripping news that Cheryl Cole has spent £15,000 on her teeth and 42 year old film director Sam Taylor-Wood is engaged to her 19 year old boyfriend (eek), that the naming of Wayne Rooney’s son has made the news – his baby is called Kai apparently and is doing very nicely.
Let's hope Coleen's genes are dominant eh?
Yes – Shrek and wife have chosen a half decent name and I’d have thought that in itself was news, given that Becks went for Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz whilst Jermaine Jackson’s unfortunate son is stuck with Jermajesty ( sounds like a serious piss take doesn’t it?) and in happier times Katie and Peter chose Princess Tiaamii for their poppet.
A New Zealand judge with a serious grudge against crazy names recently spoke out as he named a nine year old child with the tragic moniker “Talulah Does The Hula” a ward of court. That name alone is enough to justify his decision I’d have thought. He listed some others which included Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit and Sex Fruit (!!!)
Whilst I don’t agree with Germany’s policies on everything I do think they have a point when they came up with the idea of an acceptable list of names from which parents must choose. The list, according to German pals of mine, is very long and includes some new and “arty” names but nothing bizarre or foolish.
Hans, Karl or Konrad but no Fish and Chips for ze Germans
Of course if you are determined that your child should be a laughing stock you can officially name him Hans and call him whatever the German version of Yeah Detroit is (Ja Bayern Munchen?) but at least it prevents the nutters from lumbering their kids with a risible name officially. I speak as one who had to dissuade her partner from ”Enoch” for our son but at least it’s a name and not fast food. I don’t rant very often but honestly – there ought to be prison sentences for some of these parents…..
Cougars, cubs and barely legal sex
Posted by: flamingo on: October 29, 2009
Reading a few blogs yesterday I see that yet another incredibly interesting survey has been done and we now know that the happiest marriages are those where the man is at least 5 years older and less intelligent than his wife.
Now speaking as one whose partner is 10 years older (and I like to think considerably less intelligent 
) I can kind of see how this would work but the news today that a 112 year old Somali man has got himself a 17 year old wife does make me think that might be pushing that principle to its limits….
In addition to the somewhat obvious comment that his dream has come true, 112 year old Ahmed Mohamed Dore added that he’d like to father more children to add to his existing collection of 13. I’m trying so hard to push that image firmly from my mind……..
What of the other situation – older woman bags herself younger bloke – you know, the Madonnas and Demi Moore’s of the world? Well apparently they are “cougars” and in fact there is a whole US comedy devoted to this very idea - “Cougar Town” stars Courtney Cox as an attractive middle aged divorcee with a younger partner.
Did this man's ginger hair make it difficult for him to bag someone his own age??
In fact almost 1/3 of women between 40 and 69 are dating a younger man (defined as 10 or more years younger) and according to WebMD this has absolutely nothing to do with increased stamina and faster re-boot, but is more to do with a liking for increased flexibility and spontaneity of lifestyle. Hmm.
Cougar, or smart woman?!
Personally I think maybe Rita Rudner had it right when she said “The old theory was – Marry an older man, because they’re more mature. But the new theory is: Most men don’t mature, so best marry a younger one.”
As for me, well I’m sticking with my lovely older man – I prefer being a “bit of fluff” to a “cougar” although I must admit that sometimes when he drops off in front of the telly at 10 o’clock, snoring gently, I do wonder…..
There’s good sex and bad sex but chocolate will always be chocolate.
Posted by: flamingo on: October 23, 2009
- In: chocolate| men| sex| women
- 2 Comments
Ten secret reasons why (some!) women prefer chocolate to sex:
1. Chocolate is still satisfying even when it goes a bit soft
2. You can safely have chocolate whilst driving
3. You can have chocolate in front of anyone (even your mother)
4. There’s no danger of getting pregnant from chocolate
5. With chocolate there’s no need to fake enjoyment
There are ways of enjoying both at the same time of course....
6. Chocolate will last as long as you want it to
7. You can have chocolate on your desk without upsetting your boss
8. Having chocolate doesn’t keep your neighbours awake
9. Chocolate doesn’t keep you awake snoring after you’ve had it
10. With chocolate size really doesn’t matter
“Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won’t run.”
Posted by: flamingo on: October 15, 2009
Searching on google for news of the upcoming Robin Hood film I see that Russell Crowe has flatly refused to wear the traditional tights (panty hose) of Robin and instead wears leather leggings – claiming that the option of tights is not authentic. I suspect he (like many other men) feels that tights and men just do not mix!
However further internet research reveals that many US companies would disagree and have persuaded male models to don panty hose for ads claiming things like “Panty hose for men – fashion for the 21th century” (what is the 21th century – is it different to the 21st century??)
Handsome man wearing ummm... tights...
At risk of denying men the right to wear whatever they like – this is just plain WRONG!! Tights are for ballet dancers and Robin Hood only. And possibly for weekends in your own home if you really can’t resist pulling on some 20 deniers.
There are notable exceptions to the "no men in tights" rule....
...but not many
The naked truth behind the new scanners
Posted by: flamingo on: October 14, 2009
Applications for jobs at Manchester airport security desks have rocketed in the wake of yesterday’s news:
“NEW SCANNERS TO TAKE NAKED SHOTS OF PASSENGERS”
It will no longer be possible to sneak on board with several handguns and a cosh concealed about your person....
Passengers can refuse to be scanned if they feel uncomfortable about their outline being visible to a security guard and can instead opt to have a complete stranger’s hands all over them while they stand, legs apart, looking stupid.
This seal refused to be scanned on the grounds that he didn't want to be seen naked by the security officer
The Brits have always had an awkward relationship with nudity – the past prevalence of streaking at sports events suggests that we are easily shocked by nakedness – perhaps we should take a leaf of out of the New Zealand rugby team who play rugby starkers regularly on the beach. However even this event is not without its streakers – police recently had to detain a teenage male who interrupted the game:
streaking is an increasing problem for police at all blacks beach rugby games.....
That’s all for now – I have a job application form to complete…..
Sex, lies and cleaning toilets.
Posted by: flamingo on: October 5, 2009
Having spent yesterday strolling around the understated and really rather beautiful grounds of Cliveden,
Cliveden is the epitome of understated architectural beauty
I was inspired to read up on what up till now has always just been a name to me – the infamous “Profumo affair” a scandal which rocked the Conservative Party of the early 1960s (if only they had known of what was to follow in the next 30 years!!)
The relationship between John Profumo, a senior Tory cabinet member and high class prostitute Christine Keeler lasted only a few weeks, ending at Profumo’s instigation, but unbeknown to Profumo, she had also been sleeping with the senior naval attache at the Russian embassy, one Yevgeny Ivanov. His mistake therefore went from a moral slip up and betrayal of his wife to a national security issue, which later came back to “bite” and resulted in his eventual resignation from office.
What really interested me was that Profumo at this point took on a role as a volunteer cleaning toilets at an East End charity – Toynbee Hall, and although at first the phrase “publicity stunt” sprang to my mind, I read on to find that he remained committed to the charity for the rest of his life and with some persuasion became their chief fund raiser and supporter. He thus redeemed himself in the eyes of most commentators and at the time of his death in 2006 was considered to have paid his dues.He was lucky enough to keep his wife,Valerie Hobson, herself a rather beautiful and clearly very loyal (or stupid!) woman.
Profumo at the time of the affair - proof if it were needed that power is an aphrodisiac...
What became of Ms Keeler? She has been much maligned as a traitor (sleeping with the Russians, remember?) and a social climber etc, but since there is no such thing as bad publicity she has survived and done very nicely with book and film deals in the aftermath of the affair.
Christine Keeler at the height of the scandal surrounding Profumo
Perhaps the only really happy ending was for this Arne Jacobsen 3107 chair, which apparently shot to fame and was for a time in great demand. You couldn’t make this up, as they say.
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